Tuesday, December 1, 2020
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5 Ways to Break Up With Your Past Self

For us to truly move forward, we need to break up with our old selves whom we've been holding on to for so long.

Did you know that every 10 years or so, we actually replace 100 percent of the cells in our bodies? For every decade that passes, we literally have a new body—yet, ironically, so many of us still think and behave in the same old ways.

More often than not, people hold on to grudges, relive past hurts, carry around longstanding anger, and hold on tightly to old beliefs about themselves. It’s almost as if we’re stuck, even when biologically, we are moving forward. What we mean to say here is that while growing older is inevitable, growing up is in fact a choice. And for us to truly move forward, we need to break up with our past selves whom we’ve been dearly holding on to. (Read: A Powerful Prayer in Times of Crisis)

Break up with yourself who does not commit to your goals.

Photo by Harry Cunningham on Unsplash

This person is the type who dreams up exciting goals but doesn’t put in the hard work, and often breaks a promise to themself to prioritize everyone else’s agenda. At the end of each year, this person realizes that 12 months have already passed, yet his or her plans are still at square one.

To let go of this version of you, hold a personal life-planning session—much like a planning session for your organization. Start to reevaluate your to-do lists, adapt them based on how you need to spend your time, and ask yourself the question, “What if I only had three months left to live? How will I live my life differently, starting today?”

Break up with yourself who seeks validation from others.

Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

This person fears rejection in different forms—a negative comment, a disappointed look, being denied a promotion, being left behind by a loved one. Deep inside, he or she seeks to be worthy of other people’s love, acceptance, and respect.

To let go of this version of you, connect with God through prayer. Ask Him what He thinks about you—better yet, as you are listening to His answer, write down the words He says, and make it His love letter to you. (Read: Stressed or Tired? Have a Moment with The Lord with this Prayer!)

No, this has nothing to do with auditory hallucinations nor being possessed. Throughout time, God speaks with us when our hearts are quiet and we are ready to listen—in fact, this is how the Bible came to be! So put down your phone, unplug from social media, and have a heart-to-heart conversation with Him. Because when it comes to knowing the truth of how amazing you are, you need to listen to your Creator—not your critics.

Break up with yourself who always blames other people.

This person feels that his or her failures are caused by others—parents who did not raise them right, a government that keeps messing up, an unfair boss, a string of bad luck. This old self thinks that someone is always out to get him or her—and that’s why he or she still isn’t successful.

It doesn’t matter that much whether this old version of you has a point or not– what matters more is your habit of blaming others and not taking action. (Read: From BPO Agent to Chef: How This Man Successfully Changed Careers)

In the grand scheme of things, our lives are only 10 percent what happens to us. The other 90 percent completely depends on how we respond to circumstances. So go on that personal life–planning session, reflect on the direction that you truly want for yourself, and plot out the steps you need to take (skills to learn, resources to gather, people to tap) to get there. And if you want to go the extra mile, add timelines and deadlines to each step to make it even more achievable!

Break up with yourself who doesn’t take responsibility.

This person is the type who goes to parties hoping other people will notice and approach him or her; works quietly in the background, hoping the boss would suddenly think about promoting him or her; or endures the bad behavior of loved ones, hoping they would eventually realize their mistakes and change their lives.

In the process of hoping, this person also grows to become impatient, bitter, and resentful. Eventually, he or she starts to think, “The other person should be doing their job for me by now!”

While it’s true that God hears our prayers, it is equally true that He is more invested in our growth than our comfort. So, when you feel like you are struggling, in reality, you are actually getting stronger, developing new skills, and stocking up on wisdom and insight. And by the time your prayers are answered, you’ve already turned them into an even bigger blessing— maybe even the kind that answers the prayers of others!

Break up with yourself who underestimates your abilities.

Photo by Karolina Grabowska from Pexels

This person would say, “I’m not good at this, so I’d rather just not try.” Or “I’ve been this way for the longest time, so you need to adjust to me, because I’m not going to change.” This person is the type who always makes up an excuse to not pursue an opportunity for growth. (Read: 4 False Beliefs That Hold You Back From Being Your Best Self)

Remember how your cells are creating an entirely new body for you—even as you are reading this? The fact that you do not remain the same person is God’s most direct way of telling you that you have the capacity to become a better version of who you are. Growth is a choice, and you can always choose to grow—at any time, at any moment.


Text by Aileen Santos, Relationships Coach.

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